The cowboy bought a pistol for his son, but the son exchanged it for a gold watch. When the boy returned home, the father immediately saw the exchange and yelled:
- What an idiot! If someone on the street calls you crap, are you going to tell him what time it is?!
The cowboy rode up to the bar on his horse and immediately ordered fifteen bottles of whiskey:
- The horse is thirsty!
The horse drinks, the cowboy pays, and the surprised bartender asks:
- Aren’t you going to drink it yourself?
- What are you talking about, I'm driving!
Two cowboys gallop across the prairie. One says to the other:
- Joe, I bet you a hundred dollars that you won't eat my shit.
“I’ll eat,” he answers.
They made a bet. Joe ate it, Bill had to give it a hundred dollars. They gallop further. Joe felt sorry for himself and said:
- Bill, I bet you a hundred dollars that you won't eat my shit.
- I'll eat it.
They made a bet again. Bill ate it, Joe gave him a hundred dollars. They gallop further. Suddenly Bill says:
- Joe, it seems to me that we both ate shit for free.
The cowboy's horse died. He has been walking across the prairie for three days. Suddenly he sees a bottle lying on the ground.
Jin gets out of it:
- Say whatever you want! I will do everything.
- I want to go home.
Jin took his hand and led him along. The cowboy became displeased and indignant:
- But I want to go home quickly!
- Well, then - let's run!
A cowboy runs into the bank - his eyes are burning, his jaw sticks out, he waves his arms, yells:
- Everyone on the floor! This is a screw up!
- Robbery?! - a helpful voice from the crowd.
- This is a screw up! - the cowboy roars. - I forgot my gun at home!
One cowboy asks another:
- Bill, how do you understand the “cycle of substances in nature”?
- How can I explain this to you more simply? Well, for example, we are riding horses across the prairie, and here are the Indians. Bang! I galloped away, and you fell, they killed you. Where you fell, a grass grew up. The bison ate that grass and then shit a bunch of crap. I drive past this heap and say: “Hello, buddy Joe! And you haven’t changed at all!”
There was an old bartender working at the bar. A cowboy walks into a bar:
- Pour one hundred grams of cognac.
The bartender, as always, doesn't top up.
Cowboy:
- Why don’t you top it up?
- You see, I’m already old, I can’t see well...
- Then why don’t overflow?
- I'm not blind!
Two cowboys are riding, one to the other and says:
- Do you see a Mexican coming ahead?
- There are two of them.
- Well, the one with the sombrero.
- They are both wearing sombreros.
- Well, that one in the cape.
- They are both wearing a cape.
The first cowboy pulls out a pistol and shoots:
- Well, that one that fell. He saved my life yesterday.
A cowboy is riding. Suddenly an inner voice: “The Indians are chasing you, take off your jeans.”
The cowboy took off, and one of the arrows hit him in the buttock.
- What a fool I am, why the hell did I listen to you!
- But the jeans are intact.
Two cowboys gallop across the prairie. One says to the other:
- Joe, I think there's a diamond in your horse's ass.
Joe got off his horse, walked around behind him, poked around for a long time and said:
- No, Bill, he's not there.
- Yes, I think so too, Joe. Why does a diamond have to be in a horse's ass?
Two cowboys meet.
“You’re getting arrogant, Jack,” says the first one.
- What are you talking about, Fred?
- Yesterday I shot a whole clip at you, and you didn’t even turn around.
Saloon. The door swings open and a horse comes in holding a silver dollar in its mouth.
The horse comes up to the bar, puts down a dollar and says in a human voice: “Whiskey and tomato!” The calm bartender pours whiskey into a bowl and places a tomato next to it.
The horse laps up the whiskey, eats the tomato and leisurely leaves. All the visitors to the saloon were dumbfounded in surprise. Suddenly the voice of a drunken cowboy is heard:
- No, well, you saw it, huh? To snack on whiskey and tomatoes?
A cowboy on his horse climbs the stairs to the hotel.
- What are you doing? - the receptionist shouts indignantly. - Walking on the stairs with animals is strictly prohibited!
- What should I do? - the cowboy makes excuses. - She starts to feel sick in the elevator.