The butler bursts into the lord’s bedroom and screams heart-rendingly:
- Sir! Save yourself! The Thames overflowed its banks...
- What are you talking about, Barrymore? Come out and report as befits a lord's butler!
Five minutes later the door swings open under the pressure of water. On the wave, sitting on an inflatable raft, the butler announces:
- Thames, sir!
One man came to the lost property office of the railway station.
- I forgot a three-liter bottle of whiskey on the train. Tell me, please, did no one bring you this bottle?
- Unfortunately, no, sir. But the gentleman who found this bottle was brought here.
“Cadet Brown,” the instructor barked, “why aren’t you listening to the lecture?”
- I'm listening, sir.
- Then repeat my last words.
- “Cadet Brown, why aren’t you listening to the lecture?”